Relation is a complex phenomenon with wide range of relationships exist in social domain. Now how can we define relation?
I feel in public and private life we make numerous relationships. First relation we encounter is with our parents , for the first moment of life you observe someone always their with you. And in that same moment you feel trust for your parents, you feel protected beside them. Then you grow little and start observing everything because now you are surrounded with whole nature. You see trees, animals and humans all around you. And feel connected to each of them. And that’s starting point of our relationship with whole world. Of these all relationships our relationship with humanity seems more self centered! Observing structure of our relationships with humanity I feel very sad, when I found that we have degraded our relationship with humanity mere psychological demanding! And, it represents simply one efforts to hide ones inferiority. Unlike our relationship with trees and animals which is not based on any psychological demand we have made our relationship with humans more complex.
Do you see any tree with some kind of attachment? Do you make images of tree in your mind before actually looking at tree? Most of the time answer is no. But if we observe human relationship with one another we always find such demands. That’s the reason we barely able to accomplish any truthful relationship. The reason behind our hallow relation is our inability to understand each other clearly. And simply knowing each other outwardly!! I observed people don’t know anything about each other all they know is about “image” that they make about others ! You have images of your gf/ bf of your friends, of your parents etc but I doubt do you really want to know that who they actually are ? All the time you deal with their images which you make in your mind. Then the question is, how you form images? When you comes in contact with someone then by mere observation you make images of that person. Like, young couples in relationship always maintain images of each other. Guy thinks that his gf is so and so and he decides this on the basis of first hand experience or mere outer observation. Now whenever he talk to his gf he is actually talking with image of his gf ! Now same applies for his gf. She also possesses image of bf that she started thinking that her bf is so and so and whenever she talk to him she actually try to communicate with image of her bf which she made in her mind! In such conversation girl talking to boys image and boy talking to girl image. So in reality they two don’t have any relation with each other!!!
That’s the reason when any one of them changes little by the course of time them, second feel afraid. Because now he/she doesn’t fit in their respective images!!! You must have heard girl saying to boy that you were not earlier like this. You have changed completely! In reality living being always changes because it’s natural but images are dead they can’t change. And here contradiction starts to arise. Girl or boy wants other one to remain same as per the images they have made in their minds. Like, if you like a girl because she is pretty then time comes when she will not be the same. If you like a boy because he’s handsome and well maintained then again time comes when he will not care much about his looks and status then it becomes difficult for you to accept this reality! This problems arise because people hardly remain in relationship on the contrary their images maintains relationship!!! That’s the reason when you actually encounter with your loved one then that same moment becomes reason for your disappointment . Then you start scrambling that , this is not you! How can you changed completely?
This apply to every relationship with parents with friends . And it is very hard to accept that in course of life people hardly able to make any relation! All they know about is image of next person.
Post Script : In my personal life, I try to actually relate myself with other. I hardly care about ones outer personality rather I try to know who that person actually is. This helps me to make meaningful relationships without any hypocrisy.